'The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.'
-Eleanor Roosevelt
This past weekend was Easter. Traditionally, like most Christian (and non-Christian) folks, I’d get dolled-up, go to church, hear the word, and go eat a hearty meal among family afterwards. This year it was a little different.
Ever since I was a little girl, I always had visions. Not really psychic visions, but visions of how I imagined the way I’d live my life. While many of these visions have either morphed into something else or were fleeting, there was always one that stuck. This modern, clean and comfortable two-story home with wall-to-wall carpeting; a sprawling kitchen; a living room with a big-cozy couch; scattered pieces of art from around the world; a few bathrooms; a Moroccan themed bedroom with an enormous bathroom and a walk in closet bursting with fabulous clothes; a sizeable green backyard with a patio; a 2.5 car garage…and a wonderful husband to share it with. For some reason, this dream in particular has been dormant yet unchanging.
The Poconos is a quaint part of Pennsylvania, roughly about 1.5 hours outside of Manhattan.
A new friend of mine (we’ll refer to her as ‘the hostess’), has a ‘getaway’ home out there; in addition to an awesome brownstone she owns and occupies in Crown Heights. She works with my close-friend, who in turn, invited me and another mutual (guy) friend to come spend the Easter weekend. This was a clear deviation from my pious routine for churchin’ but it sounded like a warm idea. Plus, I would get a decent meal, at least.
Early Sunday morning, we made our way out of the city and arrived at the Poconos by noon. It felt good as hell to get out of Brooklyn. I realized how much I missed seeing the trees and open land of rural parts of New York. (Prospect Park has nothing on the beauty of the countryside.) The Delaware Water Gap is mountanous with winding roads, connecting NY to PA (I think). My two friends and I always have a great time when we get together-mainly because we feel 100% comfortable with being who we are around each other- very important to me.
We arrived around noon. Her house was on a hill, situated in a cul-de-sac, where other property still seemed to be in development. When I walked into her house, that nostalgic childhood vision overcame me: Everything from the sunlight beaming into the kitchen and living areas, to the smell of potpourri and Glade scented candle wick and the wall-to-wall, beige carpeting. I embraced ‘the hostess’ and my eyes widened at the elegant simplicity and warmth of her abode. Even the small details like an oil on canvas painting on a kitchen wall sitting area overlooking the vast backyard, to the ‘Uptown Magazine’ I picked up among a spread of other leisurely black-interests magazines laying on various table tops, and even the three-pronged forks were what I envisioned in my future home. The simple elements made the space so warm and pleasurable.
We cooked, (well, they cooked but I washed a few plates) watched Tyler Perry movies, and shared inappropriate jokes in the spirit of Love. It’s been a while since I had a fabulous sit-down meal, so fulfilling, among friends and in a warm and welcoming place. It really was a Happy Easter.
‘The hostess’ is 42(?) established in her career, gorgeous, accomplished, married, with two boys and living her life comfortably. I’m a 23 year old gypsy that’s still climbing and in search of….something. And maybe she is too, but that’s another topic.
After dinner, I just sat on the sofa and reflected on that unchanging vision. This guy crush of mine hit me up just the day before (another highlight of my weekend) and I thought about the ‘husband’ part of my childhood fantasy. I could see myself in a place like this, with a man like him. He distanced himself from socialization (and me) in efforts to be ‘focused’ on completeing law-school-which I respect- but this visit to the Poconos just rekindled my sentimental thoughts & hopes of possibly being with him one day. I went into fantasy mode, visualizing him walking through the door like a smooth knight in shining armor, in his little business suit, giving me a juicy kiss on the cheek while I’m cooking some steak and potatoes.
I just smiled ..and sighed.
Not in love..just entertaining the possibilities.
But hey, I’m an optimist. If I can conceive it, and I believe it, then I can achieve it. (Sorry if this sounds like some fairytale book crap, but so what-I’m a PRINCESS, damnit.)
It’s amazing how some things in life one will always desire- and hopefully gain. The dreams that we have, no matter how big or small, are a preview to life’s coming attractions..they manifest if you never lose sight of the possibilities…
Ever since I was a little girl, I always had visions. Not really psychic visions, but visions of how I imagined the way I’d live my life. While many of these visions have either morphed into something else or were fleeting, there was always one that stuck. This modern, clean and comfortable two-story home with wall-to-wall carpeting; a sprawling kitchen; a living room with a big-cozy couch; scattered pieces of art from around the world; a few bathrooms; a Moroccan themed bedroom with an enormous bathroom and a walk in closet bursting with fabulous clothes; a sizeable green backyard with a patio; a 2.5 car garage…and a wonderful husband to share it with. For some reason, this dream in particular has been dormant yet unchanging.
The Poconos is a quaint part of Pennsylvania, roughly about 1.5 hours outside of Manhattan.
A new friend of mine (we’ll refer to her as ‘the hostess’), has a ‘getaway’ home out there; in addition to an awesome brownstone she owns and occupies in Crown Heights. She works with my close-friend, who in turn, invited me and another mutual (guy) friend to come spend the Easter weekend. This was a clear deviation from my pious routine for churchin’ but it sounded like a warm idea. Plus, I would get a decent meal, at least.
Early Sunday morning, we made our way out of the city and arrived at the Poconos by noon. It felt good as hell to get out of Brooklyn. I realized how much I missed seeing the trees and open land of rural parts of New York. (Prospect Park has nothing on the beauty of the countryside.) The Delaware Water Gap is mountanous with winding roads, connecting NY to PA (I think). My two friends and I always have a great time when we get together-mainly because we feel 100% comfortable with being who we are around each other- very important to me.
We arrived around noon. Her house was on a hill, situated in a cul-de-sac, where other property still seemed to be in development. When I walked into her house, that nostalgic childhood vision overcame me: Everything from the sunlight beaming into the kitchen and living areas, to the smell of potpourri and Glade scented candle wick and the wall-to-wall, beige carpeting. I embraced ‘the hostess’ and my eyes widened at the elegant simplicity and warmth of her abode. Even the small details like an oil on canvas painting on a kitchen wall sitting area overlooking the vast backyard, to the ‘Uptown Magazine’ I picked up among a spread of other leisurely black-interests magazines laying on various table tops, and even the three-pronged forks were what I envisioned in my future home. The simple elements made the space so warm and pleasurable.
We cooked, (well, they cooked but I washed a few plates) watched Tyler Perry movies, and shared inappropriate jokes in the spirit of Love. It’s been a while since I had a fabulous sit-down meal, so fulfilling, among friends and in a warm and welcoming place. It really was a Happy Easter.
‘The hostess’ is 42(?) established in her career, gorgeous, accomplished, married, with two boys and living her life comfortably. I’m a 23 year old gypsy that’s still climbing and in search of….something. And maybe she is too, but that’s another topic.
After dinner, I just sat on the sofa and reflected on that unchanging vision. This guy crush of mine hit me up just the day before (another highlight of my weekend) and I thought about the ‘husband’ part of my childhood fantasy. I could see myself in a place like this, with a man like him. He distanced himself from socialization (and me) in efforts to be ‘focused’ on completeing law-school-which I respect- but this visit to the Poconos just rekindled my sentimental thoughts & hopes of possibly being with him one day. I went into fantasy mode, visualizing him walking through the door like a smooth knight in shining armor, in his little business suit, giving me a juicy kiss on the cheek while I’m cooking some steak and potatoes.
I just smiled ..and sighed.
Not in love..just entertaining the possibilities.
But hey, I’m an optimist. If I can conceive it, and I believe it, then I can achieve it. (Sorry if this sounds like some fairytale book crap, but so what-I’m a PRINCESS, damnit.)
It’s amazing how some things in life one will always desire- and hopefully gain. The dreams that we have, no matter how big or small, are a preview to life’s coming attractions..they manifest if you never lose sight of the possibilities…
2 comments:
It's always about the POSSIBILITIES...the possibilities...or what else would we HOPE for? It's amazing as time passes on some dreams--not all though--begin to shape and make form into the here and now...it's about the possibilities.
In an untamed, fast paced world that we live in it's astonishing how the essence of old tradition can linger our minds and even nurture our souls.
The meaning of life might never have an answer or even need one ,but the reason for being always needs to meet a goal or a comfort zone that can settle the spirit.
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