- Walter Hawkins
One Sunday afternoon, I was at church. I can't fully recall how I was feeling before I got there-but I clearly remember how I felt after I left that chapel. I came on time (for once) and was able to participate in praise and worship. The choir had just gotten up. They started singing and before I knew it, my body was covered in spiritual chills. ‘Be Grateful.’ I have been touched by music only a few times in my life-and this was one of those supreme times. The feeling that overcame me that day was indescribable; one that can only be achieved when you’re connected to God’s glory. If I could bottle it up and give it to you, I would. That song packed a powerful message that I feel we all need to hear time and time again.
Be Grateful.
‘Just be thankful for what you got,’ she’d always say. This was one principle that my mother constantly drilled into my sisters and I while growing up: be grateful. When I wanted new clothes but I already had some, she’d pull that line out, ‘just be thankful…don’t you know its some kids out there who barely have clothes?’ And then she’d make me feel bad for taking what I had for granted. She grew up without her mother-and without a lot of other things that every child should be given in life. This I knew-but never thought about until after she cursed me out for being a brat. Nobody on this Earth is capable of bringing you shame the way your mother can. But, I’m glad she did. That shame I felt taught me how to be thankful.
This ingrained principle is so strong that I find it pretty annoying when others act so ungrateful. Especially when I recognize their blessings more clearly then they can. A major indication of the ‘ungrateful’ people, are the complainers. Among these people are several close friends. Some are always complaining about some non-sense. ‘Oh, I’m so broke,’ or ‘I can’t’ or ‘I don’t,’ or ‘I won’t’ or something connoting some sort of ‘lack.’ To the effect that they are blinded and lose all foresight of the good. Hell, I’m broker than all of my friends, but I don’t complain. I live, I have fun, I can pay most of my bills (the important ones) and I don’t want for anything. I know where my blessings come from. Even if I have to eat crackers and grapes for dinner because it’s a rough month, I’m still blessed. The times when we struggle are when we gain a sense of appreciation. Some of my friends live with parents or relatives, have minimal bills and a large portion of pocketed income, yet they still find room to see what they don’t have.
Here are a few realities that we, particularly young urbane professionals, tend to forget:
There are adults with homes going into foreclosure because they lost their jobs. There are many who don’t don’t have a family and don't have a dime to take the train. There are grown-men who turn to crime because they feel inadequate because they cannot support themselves. There are families who live in tin-roof shacks with no heat or plumbing. There are children who wake up and don’t know if they will come home to a hot meal after school. Some children don't like going home out of fear of being beaten, mentally abused, or molested. And some of their parents do it to them. There are teenagers who runaway because they don’t have people who care about them. There are foster-children who are nomadic, and have never experienced what it feels like to have a ‘home.’ There is a man who got sentenced to 10-years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. There is a struggling mother out there who doesn’t have the means to feed her children when she goes home. There are little girls who don’t know how to be ladies because they never had a mother to show them how-so they become promiscuous. There is a 14-year old girl who is pregnant and can't even provide for herself. Many people make minimum-fucking wage and have more bills than you do. There are adults who cannot read past the second-grade level and are afraid to seek out literacy because they are too ashamed. Some don’t have the ability to walk. Others don’t have a sound mind. There is someone out there who just found out they have one-month to live. There are senior citizens who have to work their bodies into the ground, cleaning bathrooms, washing dishes, serving food and getting disrespected on a daily basis, just so they can survive another day. And in the midst of this all, so many of these people are still thankful and find the blessings in life.They keep their shoulders back, chin-up, and smile.
So why can’t we be grateful for what we have? Why can’t the ‘haves’ be grateful?
I think it’s because we need to ‘have-not’ in order to appreciate it.
Am I the most grateful human on Earth-no, I’m not. HOWEVER, there is a damn limit to my complaining, when I do partake in it. It’s my mother’s voice that resonates from my childhood that quickly reminds me; be grateful. It’s the older Spanish lady that I saw, breaking her back to clean the toilets that reminds me; be grateful. It's the prisoner-of-war who was held hostage in a dungeon, chained to a wall for 5-years, and counted each link on the chain and thought of things he was thankful for, that reminds me, be grateful. It’s the sorority sister who has had a drug-addicted mother, has been raped and still holds her head high, which reminds me: be grateful.
Let me be clear: you will never have enough if you feel what you do have, is inadequate. What I mean by this is if you cannot see the value in all that you currently have, you will never see the value in all that you can have. If you make a decent salary, can pay your bills, with money to spare, then damnit, be grateful.
If you were able to hop-up out the bed and put your swag on, then damnit, be grateful. If you ran for that train, fumbled, stumbled and still caught that bad-boy right before the doors shut in your face, the way I did this morning, then be grateful. If you went to your bank account, and had $10 dollars more than you expected, then be grateful. If you can breathe without a tube in your throat, be grateful. If you are going to school, then be grateful. If you can clap your hands, then be grateful. If you have hands, then damnit, please be grateful.These things that we think are so minute, really are a big deal. Appreciate them and you will find more value in all else that comes.
It’s so easy to get caught up in everything: getting more, making more, owning more-more, more, more. It's natural to desire; it's healthy to pursue and fulfill potential. But, we must not lose sight of what we have.
We could just not have anything.
I'd like us all to ponder on the importance of gratitude-because there is always someone who’s worse off than you. And even in your hard times-there is always something to be thankful for.
Be grateful.
