Yes girl, it's you.
Determined to whoop this cold, I walked into the health-drink shop. I felt his eyes following my every move as I sashayed up the block. Bald. Olive-toned. Dark-eyed. Clean-cut. Not bad-but, not my ‘type.’ (You know what that is if you’ve read ‘Type-itis.’) ‘Hi,’ he insisted. ‘Hello,’ I returned. I darted my eyes towards the menu. This cold had to go-what better way to fight it off than with an amalgamation of juice and vegetables that I never eat? My body actually craved it in its miserable state.
The shop had about two-feet of space inside so it was just the two of us.
‘Usually I don’t do this but uhh..what’s your name?’ R.Kelly’s ‘Ignition Remix’ started playing in my head when he said that, and I almost started laughing (I have issues).
I told him. He replied, ‘I’m the guy who wants to make you his rebound girl. Nice to meet you.’
OK, OK, OK, so that’s not what he really said-but he might as well have! I’d soon be associating him with the title: the Rebounder. ‘Nice meeting you,’ I said, brushing him off. I asked the cashier/juice guy ‘what boosts immunity? I have a cold..’ He recommended some fancy-named juice that contained every vegetable on the planet. ‘That’s a good one..I order it sometimes,’ Mr. Rebounder interjected. Clearly, the man was into his health, so I took a medium.
‘You work around here?’ The Rebounder asked. ‘Yea..right on Broadway,’ I followed.
‘What do you do?’ he asked. People always ask me that-especially men. Maybe it’s the hair that throws them for a loop. They always think I’m an artist or a fashionista. (I have that alter-ego but it doesn't pay my bills.) I gave him my 60-seconds job-description. He seemed pretty fascinated. Juice-man handed the Rebounder his protein shake which looked much better that what I had coming.
I could see that he either had twinkle-eye syndrome or he was simply stunned by my beauty. He was intrigued and it oozed out of his pores. Women with confidence know what I’m talking about. It’s that power you feel when you’re secure in your own shit, and the guys see it. After a little more brew-ha-ha, he insisted on exchanging information. While he scurried for a paper and a pen, I calmly whipped out a business card. Real smooth. He took it, we shook hands and he left before me.
After I got my juice, which looked like liquefied throw-up, I started towards my building. 'Cute guy,' I thought; but I didn’t trust him. You don’t always have to ‘know’ someone or hear a Shakespearean soliloquy to get a grasp of his or her spirit. It’s intuition that truly helps us navigate.
I got to work and already knew what to expect: an e-mail from Mr. Rebounder.
I was right. 'How was your juice' was the subject. I replied. We ended up chatting on instant messenger. 'Do you like your job? How old are you? Where do you live? Where are you from? Where are you going?' Boy, this guy sure asked a lot of probing questions. I'm typically not a fan of that, because I'm a pretty private person. And every inquiring soul doesn’t have pure intentions. I mean, look at Wendy Williams.
But I’ll confess-I did enjoy the ping ponging of messages. And was flattered by the depth of interest. So back-and-forth we went.
And then it came out. The ‘g’ word that women dread to hear but we all want to be.
My ‘girlfriend…’
Oh..Your girl? Really? Haha! Interesting. Thanks for that information. I will now explain how a woman processes this after she hears it from a guy who has clearly expressed interest in getting to ‘know her’ better:
First- the word ‘girlfriend’ goes in and somewhat shakes the brain. It’s called ‘the maracas effect.’ It’s the initial ‘shock,’ because although you’ll ask if the guy is ‘single’ at some point, you don’t really expect his ass to say ‘no.’ Especially if he’s clocking you and exchanging contacts.
Second- Emotions arise and they can range from:
Anger: because she feels deceived, sadness: because she just knew that this was Mr. Right, or disappointment: because she set her expectations a little too high, too quick. And lastly, excitement: because she’s kind of trifling and sees the girlfriend as a challenge that she can overcome.
For the women who know that most men are no-good from the jump, they feel- indifference. These types of women have no initial expectations, especially for random men.
Third- Judgment call.
Being a woman, I experienced the ‘maracas’ effect, as I was a bit shocked to hear. (More so because he was so forthcoming about it.) But, there were no emotions to follow. Just indifference. And above all- judgment. Not necessarily ruling him out as scum-of-the Earth, however, you somewhat know what type of man you’re dealing with, for future reference; granted, if it goes that far. He's still involved, even though it's on the break of collapse. But the principle still stands.
We carried on. It wasn’t that serious because I already knew something wasn’t right about him. Plus, I wasn’t checking for him in the first place. We actually looked like we could be related. So it didn’t really matter.
He explained how he and his ‘G’ were on the verge of break-up, but she just didn't know it yet. He was apartment hunting and it was the end of the road. Although I was able to understand and empathize..
I concluded where I fit into this scenario.
Yup…you guessed it. The rebound girl.
(Or so he thinks)
To be continued..
